On the Completion of Your First Pregnancy

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I originally composed this some years ago for a Palestinian-American friend in the office where I worked. Now I dedicate it to all women, especially my mother, who went through this ordeal six times.





Your long journey is almost over, but it'll be no stroll in the park

when you wheel into the delivery room to let your little passenger disembark.



You'll lie on your back, feeling as though you're being ripped apart,

huffing and puffing and shuddering to the pounding of your heart.



You'll grit your teeth and clench your fists as your patience is steadily shrinking.

How did you get yourself into this mess? What in the world were you thinking?



And your dear, sweet, solicitous husband, to his lovely wife wants to be near,

so we shall pity the unfortunate man as you shriek YOU DID THIS TO ME! into his ear.



Later, as you rest from your aptly-named labor, you might be looking toward

a thought of some compensation, of some suitable reward.



Well, your body will return to normal. The weird cravings will go away.

You'll get your svelte figure back and not be hitting the ladies' room twenty times a day.



No more waddling like a duck and feeling like a walking water balloon

and a final end to the blimp jokes can come not a day too soon.



That's not nearly enough, you say? You think you deserve substantially more?

OK, here's a little extra for you that fate has in its endless store.



Soon you will discover in addition to your reflattened tummy

that, even though you're not Egyptian, you're now somebody's mummy.

aaabbb

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