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The well-dressed televangelist storms up and down the stage.

He has worked himself up into a righteous Biblical rage.


Dancing and prancing and waving his Bible, he works himself into a lather.

This guy actually makes a good living spewing meaningless blather.


Of course we don=t mean real work: he avoids that when he has his druthers.

No, life is so much easier when he=s sponging off the labor of others.


He doesn=t want to use his own labor to feed his overweening cupidity,

so he must cultivate the growth of massive culture-wide stupidity.


In the name of a religion of humility he preaches a violent pride.

The very things that have made life good, he wants us to cast aside.


AThose damned evilutionists say that your grandparents were just a buncha monkeys!

So it makes no difference if your children become robbers, murderers, and junkies!@


ANot gonna make a monkey outa me!@ he howls. AI know where I come from.

I swear, those damned evilutionists must think we=re awfully dumb!@


ALet me tell you about a wonderful place, a land flowing with milk and honey!

I can lead the children there, but to do it I=ll need lots of money!@


He exploits the fact that people get more religious when they start growing old.

He tells them that God appreciates their donation and will return it one-hundred-fold.


Yes, he trots out God, the Lord of Creation, to endorse his every appeal.

He has no problem with doing this, because he believes that God is not real.


To draw the crowds this churchy organ grinder needs a truly appealing flunkey,

so he dresses up the Lord of Creation as his organ grinder=s monkey.


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