The Squeamish Terrorist

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There was a time, not too long ago, when the English detested the French.

Why the merest mention of Gallic achievements was enough to make their jaw muscles clench.

 

One bloke wasn't satisfied to grit his teeth, for he knew that he had the smarts

to devise an act so terrible that it would strike fear into all French folks' hearts.

 

But he would not use a gun or bludgeon, use poison or a knife;

for this poor pathetic terrorist could not bear to take a human life.

 

It seemed that he might be thoroughly stymied, but his mind was really quite nimble.

He would strike fear deep into Frenchmen's hearts by attacking a national symbol.

 

He targeted a famous statue standing in the middle of the town.

He would plant a bomb, set it off, and bring the statue down.

 

He plotted, he schemed, he conspired, and, yes, he even connived

and his plan was perfectly ready when the fatal day arrived.

 

The bomb went off and pieces flew and scattered in all directions

while our terrorist ran and hid and escaped, eluding all detections.

 

The people vowed to repair the statue as they searched through the clearing smoke.

Looking for all the pieces, how could they know it would become a joke?

 

They found all the pieces and put them together using the bronze-welder's art,

but the statue would thenceforth be forever known as Napoleon Blown-Apart.

 

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