Splenn D'Ifferess

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Splenn was a minor Gallic thug, an asset to his gang.

When the cops played their brutal music, Splenn never, ever sang.


The other gangsters knew that Splenn was as reliable as a clock

primarily because their boy Splenn was dumber than a rock.


So the gang's latest felonious caper went horribly awry

and it seemed as if a thousand witnesses raised a hue and cry.


Throughout all gangland the thugs and molls were feeling incredibly tense;

for the cops were on the case and they wanted a story that made sense.


The cops were hot, so through the underworld went a desperate call.

The heat was on and would not abate until someone took the fall.


Now the Boss was an acknowledged expert at criminal instigation,

but he could never make up a good alibi; he lacked artistic inspiration.


The cops were getting impatient; they gave him the third degree.

They wanted to know who did the deed before the perp had a chance to flee.


So the Boss cooked up an alibi while the gangsters ran and hid.

And he got a brilliant idea for once and the story he told was Splenn did.


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