Yeah, Sink This!

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    I conceived the lyrics of this song when I read an item on MSNBC on 2006 Oct 05, a report on the finding of a complete skeleton of a short-necked plesiosaur by a team of Norwegian paleontologists working on the Svalbard Islands. The report described that ocean-going dinosaur as the size of a bus, with teeth bigger than cucumbers.

    I mean these lyrics to be sung to the melody of "Sink the Bismarck", a song from 1960. That seems only appropriate for a creature that paleontologists describe as the marine equivalent of Tyrannosaurus rex.

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On the Svalbard Island group, high in the Arctic zone

a team of paleontologists was digging ancient bone.

They dug a skeleton from the rock and their leader made a fuss.

"Whatever this thing was," he said, "it was the size of a city bus!"

 

They dug the bones out of the ground and laid them in a line

and every one among them felt a shudder wrack their spine.

The thing was a short-necked plesiosaur, the terror of the seas.

With teeth bigger than cucumbers, it ate whate'er it please.

 

It swam in the Jurassic Era; it swam in waters warm.

It was a sea-going dinosaur; it could weather any storm.

It was a short-necked plesiosaur, the terror of the seas.

With a mouth as big as a dumpster, it ate whate'er it please.

 

It lived a very long time ago, when mammals still were small

and if its kind were still alive, we wouldn't exist at all.

It was a short-necked plesiosaur, the terror of the seas.

With flippers as big as a Cessna's wings, it could catch whate'er it please.

 

Since its time life on Earth has come a very long way.

Tremendous changes have occurred since that reptile's day.

But in the museum you'll see the thing hanging from the wires

and see on people's faces the fear that it still inspires.

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    Here, for reference, I include the original lyrics of "Sink the Bismarck" as sung by Johnny Horton in 1960. I'll also note that the story they tell isn't quite accurate: British ships did not sink the Bismarck; rather, a torpedo from a British airplane jammed the Bismarck's rudder, forcing the ship to steam in a circle that brought into range of British land-based bombers. The Germans responded by scuttling the ship.

Sink the Bismarck

In May of nineteen forty-one the war had just begun.

The Germans had the biggest ship, they had the biggest guns.

The Bismarck was the fastest ship that ever sailed the seas.

On her deck were guns as big as steers and shells as big as trees.

 

Out of the cold and foggy night came the British ship the Hood.

And ev'ry British seaman he knew and understood.

They had to sink the Bismarck, the terror of the sea,

stop those guns as big as steers, and those shells as big as trees.

 

We'll find that German battleship that's makin' such a fuss.

We gotta sink the Bismarck, 'cause the world depends on us.

They hit the decks a-runnin' boys and spin those guns around.

When we find the Bismarck we gotta cut her down.

 

The Hood found the Bismarck and on that fatal day

the Bismarck started firin' fifteen miles away.

We gotta sink the Bismarck was the battle sound.

But when the smoke had cleared away the might Hood went down.

 

For six long days and weary nights they tried to find her trail.

Churchill told the people "put ev'ry ship a-sail,

'cause somewhere on that ocean I know she's gotta be.

We gotta sink the Bismarck to the bottom of the sea."

 

We'll find that German battleship that's makin' such a fuss.

We gotta sink the Bismarck, 'cause the world depends on us.

They hit the decks a-runnin' boys and spin those guns around.

When we find the Bismarck we gotta cut her down.

 

The fog was gone the seventh day and they saw the mornin' sun.

Ten hours away from homeland the Bismarck made its run.

The admiral of the British fleet said, "Turn those bows around.

We found that German battleship and we're gonna cut her down."

 

The British guns were aimed and the shells were comin' fast.

The first shell hit the Bismarck, they knew she couldn't last.

That mighty German battleship is just a memory.

Sink the Bismarck was the battle cry that shook the seven seas.

 

We found that German battleship was makin' such a fuss.

We had to sink the Bismarck, 'cause the world depends on us.

We hit the deck a-runnin' and we spun those guns around.

We found the mighty Bismarck then we cut her down.

 

We found that German battleship was makin' such a fuss.

We had to sink the Bismarck, 'cause the world depends on us.

We hit the deck a-runnin' and we spun those guns around.

We found the mighty Bismarck then we cut her down.

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