It Could Be Verse

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    This file collects all of the various poems and song lyrics I have devised over the years.  I include it just for the simple pleasure that it may give you.

Pensive

GO TO: 1959 May 18

GO TO: Astrodite

GO TO: Supergirl

GO TO: Linda Lee

GO TO: Adrift

GO TO: In a Kryptonese Temple Garden

GO TO: Elegy for Argo City

GO TO: Raakteek's Great Hunt

GO TO: The Neanderthal Testament

GO TO: The Reformation Rag

GO TO: The Theory of Sacred Relativity

GO TO: Christalization

GO TO: Theodicy

GO TO: The Blessing

GO TO: The Curse

GO TO: Convictus

GO TO: Teleblasphemy

GO TO: The Most Vile Blasphemy

GO TO: Avarice

GO TO: Eye of the Needle

GO TO: Less Than a Loser

GO TO: Islamic Women

GO TO: Moonfall

GO TO: The Ruba'iyat of Isaac Newton

GO TO: Newtonian Buddhism

GO TO: Principia Poetica

GO TO: The Apotheosis of Maxwell's Equations

GO TO: Maxwell's Equations Simplified

GO TO: Relativity

GO TO: E=mc2

GO TO: The Minkowski Metric

GO TO: General Relativity

GO TO: The Bow That Shot Time's Arrow

GO TO: Five Mind Men and an Invisible Elephant

GO TO: A Little Esoteric Theology

GO TO: A Contemplation of Ghosts

GO TO: The Great Migration

GO TO: Seeds

GO TO: Self-Transcendence

GO TO: Compassion and Inner Strength

GO TO: The Virtues

GO TO: The Dream

GO TO: Ode to a Glitch

GO TO: Homage to a Glitch - a slightly better version

GO TO: Logic

GO TO: Q.E.D.

GO TO: Sic Transit Gloria Mundi

GO TO: Darwinian Short-Cut

GO TO: Perspective

GO TO: Hologrammatically, We Are

GO TO: Random Thoughts

GO TO: So Light

GO TO: Shaman

GO TO: Binary

GO TO: Supernova Maria

GO TO: For Columbia

GO TO: In Eternally Fading Twilight

GO TO: Quiet Testament

GO TO: The Spider

GO TO: 1984

GO TO: Rome

GO TO: Om Veien Er Ditt Mål

    This small set of poems are actually different versions of the same poem, one to which I keep returning, trying to overcome the feeling that I haven't quite got it right.

GO TO: Voidquest

GO TO: Aetherlogue

GO TO: In the Quiet Among the Stars

GO TO: Aetherlogue II

GO TO: Aetherlogue IV

Humorous

GO TO: Bizarro's Poem

GO TO: Springtime Contraction

GO TO: The Pest

GO TO: Superman's Family: I

GO TO: Donald at the Gong

GO TO: Dribs and Drabs

GO TO: The Squawk Box

GO TO: English

GO TO: Table Manners

GO TO: Norway's Revenge

GO TO: A Norwegian Delight

GO TO: An Irish Delight

GO TO: Monkey Business

GO TO: Interpretation

GO TO: A Child's Astrophysics

GO TO: Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star

GO TO: The Funniest Joke in Taxonomy

GO TO: Intelligent Design

GO TO: Splenn D'Ifferess

GO TO: The Secret

GO TO: The Squeamish Terrorist

GO TO: The Finicky Cannibal

GO TO: On the Completion of Your First Pregnancy

GO TO: The Complaint

GO TO: A Bit of Understanding

GO TO: En Yolly Norveejun Yingoism

GO TO: The Man With Many Names

GO TO: A German Delight

GO TO: The Japanese

GO TO: The Zebra Mussels

GO TO: Are These Great Lakes or What?

GO TO: The Tempicidal Maniac

GO TO: Ten Stupid Nutzis

GO TO: The Stupidity Marker

GO TO: The Stutter

GO TO: Druggie's Fire Prevention Plan

Musical

(P) = Pensive, (H) = Humorous

GO TO: Linda Lee (P)

GO TO: The Banana Boat Song (H)

GO TO: Ballad of the Termites (H)

GO TO: Michael, Row the Boat Ashore (H)

GO TO: El Passoff (H)

GO TO: Back On My Cellphone Again (H)

GO TO: Audubon-Fire of the Vanities (H)

GO TO: Song of the Junior Anti-Sex League (H)

GO TO: Cheesy Flick (H)

GO TO: Physics, Texas-Style (H)

GO TO: Yeah, Sink This! (P)

GO TO: Inference (P)

GO TO: Dumb the Kids Down (P)

GO TO: The Light in Darkness (P)

GO TO: Were You There? (P) [Remember That They Crucified Our Lord]

GO TO: SurReality (P)

GO TO: The Green Hills of Earth (P)

GO TO: The Last Rose of Summer (P)

GO TO: 'Tis Pythagoras' Theorem (P)

GO TO: Irrefutable (P)

GO TO: So Inedible (H)

GO TO: The Dare County Website (H)

GO TO: Union Pacific (P)

GO TO: Live Free or Die (P)

GO TO: Gulfstream Jet (H)

GO TO: It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas - 2015 (H)

GO TO: War on Christmas (2016)

Hallowe'en Carols

    Favorite Christmas carols hideously deformed with alternate lyrics, suitable for a holiday that's every bit as popular as the Mass of Christ.

GO TO: Atomic War

GO TO: Here Comes Dracula

GO TO: Oh, Holy Shit

GO TO: Orson, The Killer Robot

GO TO: I Saw Three Ships

GO TO: Hallowe'en

GO TO: The Inquisition's Coming to Town

GO TO: Silent Night

GO TO: Away in a Forest

GO TO: O, Hanging Tree

GO TO: The Twelve Nights of Hallowe'en

GO TO: O, Little Town of Bethlehem

War Carols

    This is about as despicable as it gets.  Favorite Christmas carols horribly desecrated with war-based lyrics.

GO TO: The Twelve Days of Blitzkrieg

GO TO: D-Day's Here

GO TO: Bombs Away!

GO TO: O, Howitzer

GO TO: Away in a Bunker

GO TO: Death to the Japs

GO TO: Kill the Gooks

GO TO: Alive in No-Man's-Land

GO TO: There On The Radar

GO TO: Oh, Little Town of Stalingrad

GO TO: I Have a Grenade

GO TO: Hitler Got Run Over by the Russians

GO TO: Oh, Holy Crap!

GO TO: Tojo's Boys Are Standing Their Ground

GO TO: Tojo, the Dimwit Warlord

GO TO: Adolph Hitler Went Insane Today

GO TO: Oh, Come All You Soldiers

Flood Songs

    For thirteen years I worked for a company that carried out flood risk analysis of properties for various financial institutions.  Here are some of the song parodies that I devised with a flood theme.  Altogether they comprise what I call my "Moisture on My Mind" album.

GO TO: Sandbags by the Dozen

GO TO: Home in Zone X

GO TO: The Ballad of New Orleans

GO TO: Hello, Dolly

GO TO: The Woes

GO TO: Take My Home, Raging Floods

GO TO: Raindrops Keep Fallin' on the Land

GO TO: Ninth Ward Farewell

GO TO: Swanee River

Politically Incorrect

    On rare occasions we feel a need to color outside the lines, to transgress the bounds of decency that the human collective (aka Society) has drawn around our public behavior.  These poems constitute a minor study of that need, presented in the hope that they may shed some light on it and perhaps enable us to create ways of either eliminating it or satisfying it in a way that does not disrupt the smooth social intercourse that makes human society at all possible.  I will avoid posting anything excessively obscene, but remember that obscenity, like beauty, lies entirely in the eye of the beholder.

GO TO: The Privatized Hermit Kingdom

GO TO: The Insane Clown of Tripoli

GO TO: The Joy of an Arab Spring

GO TO: Midway

GO TO: Farting

GO TO: The Sound of Farting

GO TO: The King's Petard

GO TO: The Gassy Pig and the Big Bad Wolf

GO TO: Le Grand Petard

GO TO: O, Little Can of Sauerkraut

GO TO: The Root Cause

GO TO: Graffiti

GO TO: The Street Artiste

GO TO: The Ballad of Diarrhea

GO TO: A California Disgrace

GO TO: The Rapist

GO TO: Gunman

GO TO: Ann Coulter

GO TO: Bernie Madoff with Other People's Money

GO TO: The Vile Asswipes of Wall Street

GO TO: Plunderpig

GO TO: Drill, Baby, Drill

GO TO: The Antarctica of Sex

GO TO: Schadenfreude

GO TO: The Hypocrite

GO TO: Noah's Ark

GO TO: I'm a Family Values Christian

GO TO: Pedophile Priests

GO TO: Wahhabi Men

GO TO: Hijabba-Dabba-Doo

GO TO: The Jihadi Scam

GO TO: The Talibandit

GO TO: Talibanned

GO TO: Why Perverts Love the Taliban

GO TO: Oh, Fatima

GO TO: The Suicide Bomber

GO TO: The Suicide Bomber, Yet Again

GO TO: The Bomber's Reward

GO TO: Irjaf, Jihad's Evil Twin

GO TO: Boko Haram

 

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