Pedophile Priests

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The guy who claims to speak for Christ, you=d think he would have a clue

of what= s going on inside his church and what he has to do.


Apparently God forgot to send the memo to the Pope

to tell him about pedophile priests. He must feel like a dope.


But now the alarm has sounded; the Church has been alerted

to the vile activities of certain priests who have the Church subverted.


The cardinals and bishops need to get out of their comfy ruts

and devote a bit more effort to protecting altar boys= butts.


Christ taught that, instead of abusing children, so much better it would be

to have oneself tied to a millstone that is cast into the sea.


For those plagued by the unholy urge there=s a way that=s better yet.

Distract the sin by giving them life-sized dolls that they can pet.


They could have solved the problem easily with a special set of toys.

Just issue to all the priests who want them inflatable altar boys.


For a church that teaches that sex is dirty this solution may seem drastic,

to issue to every questionable priest a fat boy made of plastic.


Think of the vast amount of treasure the Catholic Church could save

if it allowed the pedophile priest to play with a hapless blow-up slave.


At least the Pope could rest assured that, instead of altar boys dating,

his priests are ensconced in their rooms with air bags masturbating.


Yes, it=s theologically incorrect to cater to this crowd

of priests who play with children in ways that are not allowed.


But it=s really a good idea and I know that this sounds sappy,

to say that all=s well that ends well when everybody=s happy.


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