Oh, Fatima

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This may be sung to the melody of AOh, Susannah!@ It was inspired by the Nigerian schmuck who tried to use a pantie-bomb to bring down an airliner approaching Detroit on Christmas Day, 2009. That and the fact that for several weeks afterward we had to endure looking at his stupid-looking face displayed prominently on the evening news.

*****

I came from darkest Africa a calling for to find.

I got an education, then I went and lost my mind.

 

I trained as a physician so that sickness I could heal,

then I got duped by some imam=s bold martyrdom appeal.

 

    Oh, Fatima, don= t you cry for me!

    A big-shot Muslim martyr is just what I want to be.

 

The jihadis told me stories and they filled my brain with hate.

To go out on a mission, well, I simply couldn=t wait.

 

I didn=t check those stories out. I really didn=t care.

I just wanted to blast a plane to fragments in the air.

 

    Oh, Fatima, we haven=t got a chance!

  >Cause I=m traveling from Yemen with explosives in my pants.

 

I lit the fuse, there was a bang, and smoke for all to see.

The other passengers then beat the crap right out of me.

 

The dumb plot failed, the plane was safe, I=m feeling like a putz.

The bomb went off, it was too weak, it just blew off my nuts.

 

    Oh, Fatima, I=m feeling like a fool.

    Those mad jihadi gangsters only used me for a tool.

 

I wallow in self-pity in this God-forsaken jail.

I really should have known that this attack was going to fail.

 

Those jihadis don=t believe in God, they just don=t give a damn.

This whole jihad is just a crooked donor-sucking scam.

 

    Oh, Fatima, this didn=t go so well.

  >Cause I=ll be getting tortured when I die and go to Hell.

 

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