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Here in the Western World we've long had a strange obsession
with the way in which Islamic women must endure hideous oppression.
Nearly naked women in harems are treated just like toys
in an exotic world whose moral sense seems created by teenaged boys.
And lest one of the Muslim man's chattel find herself a lover,
she cannot go out in public unless she goes completely under cover.
Too many Islamic women must hide under drab and shapeless bags
as if they were something disgusting, just hideous and ugly hags.
Yes, women must hide under burqas and veils as if they were something vile,
because men might cream in their jellabahs if they saw a woman smile.
It's male weakness that corrupts Islam and brings it into disrepute.
That proposition may seem weird, but it cannot be in dispute.
From this argument you wish to withdraw and remain perfectly aloof,
but the argument is a simple one and requires little proof.
In the Swat Valley, on the Whack Plateau, and in the Punchandjab Mountains as well,
certain clowns have made for women a world very much like Hell.
Pulling girls out of school, working hard to keep them dumb,
is how the inadequate Talibandit keeps women under his thumb.
And the idiot doesn't understand that it's Islam he disgraces
when he goes around in hatred, slopping acid in women's faces.
No, applying the word Muslim to the vile Taliban
is like applying the title Christian to the loony Ku Klux Klan.
If you believe that I'm mistaken, then here's an eye-opening test.
How are women treated in those countries poorest and most oppressed?
Compare the cities of Indonesia with the slums of Outer Boogerstan,
an open Islamic society compared to one run by the Taliban.
Bring it out into the open. Let's not keep it hidden.
The whole people suffer most where women's rights are forbidden.
Muslim society wasn't always this way; only later did it get infected.
When Islam first began in Arabia women were well respected.
The Prophet's first wife owned a business; she ran caravans over the land,
camel trains across the desert, meeting the challenges of rock and sand.
Khadijah was smart and knowledgeable and, though it may seem strange,
the Prophet Muhammad liked her that way; he never asked her to change.
Today in the land of the Prophet's birth she would not be allowed to drive;
indeed, with her assertive personality, she might be lucky to be alive.
Imagine Allah sitting on Its throne feeling mightily miffed
at the sight of self-proclaimed Muslims spitting on Its greatest gift.
The Eternal Feminine draws us ever upward and will not be denied,
except by those who hide their inferiority under an overweening pride.
The Qur'an itself is a feminine thing, as anyone can see,
teaching wisdom to the Muslims as a mother teaches the children at her knee.
No, the deep intellect of the Muslim scholar is not limited to the male.
To ride on the great ocean of Islamic ideas women may also set sail.
What glories will emanate from the Muslim world, what riches will we swim in,
when of all the imams and mullahs and ayatollahs, at least half of them are women?
Do you want to know what you can do? Then here, I say, Voila!
Hope and pray that the next Caliph will be a woman, inshallah!
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